Members Update!

Dear Members,

I now have a website just for you!  This will be where you can access informative articles, book reviews, S.O.S. Newsletters and more all in one location!

Also, since the membership is still a rather new service I am offering any input, suggestions or needs that you have please send them my way! Email me at cms@strengtheningourstepfamilies.com.

Sincerely,

Christine Stansbury, M.A., L.C.P.C.

www.strengtheningourstepfamilies.com

Call Now- Update

Good news!  Now, I am now not using Skype as the only Call Now number which means you do not have to buy minutes ahead of time.  Instead, I am utilizing a company www.ether.com.  You can set up an account with them quickly either by phone or online. Once you have your pin you will never have to enter your information again! It’s easy and you do not have to buy minutes ahead of time to make the call.  It’s also a toll free number so if you use your landline you will not be charged.

Try it out and give me a call! 

ChristineStansbury  1.888.693.8437 ext. 03032997

I look forward to hearing from you! 

Christine Stansbury, M.A., L.C.P.C. & Stepmom

www.strengtheningourstepfamilies.com

Ask Parent Coach Christine: Advice Column for Stepfamilies

By Christine Stansbury, Professional Clinical Counselor, Parent Coach & Stepmom

Strengthening Our Stepfamilies (S.O.S.) – Helping stepfamilies navigate unchartered waters

Counseling, Coaching & Classes

www.strengtheningourstepfamilies.com

To submit your questions or concerns visit: Free Advice  

Dear Christine:

I am an almost step-mom to a charming yet challenging 12-year old. She lives with her father and me during the summer, and every other weekend during the school year. One of the frustrating things for me to deal with is to watch her manipulate her dad.  When she is with us, she tries to get away with eating too much junk food, watching too much TV, and not wanting to do any chores around the house. When her dad brings these things up, she pouts and stomps off to her room. He feels guilty for letting her sit in her room and will go apologize.  It drives me crazy that he is the one who ends up apologizing to her, and she knows full well that he will come and get her.  When he and I have discussed this alone, he understands what is happening when I point it out, but that does not keep it from recurring.  – S.K.

 

Dear S.K.-

Our role as a stepparent can be very confusing especially when it comes to discipline. The more clear the expectations are regarding everyone’s role in the house the better.  Here are some suggestions:

1)      Establish house rules, chores, privileges and consequences. Write them down and hang them up. All three of you should sit down and discuss them. 

2)      When possible have family meetings.

3)      Make time for just you and your partner to discuss parenting issues.

4)      Be clear about your own boundaries, expectations, your bottom lines and discuss them with your significant other.  Explain to him how he can help support you.  Invite him to do the same.

5)      Be creative when problem solving together.  For example, maybe those moments that she takes off to her room there should be a funny key word that you say to remind him of your conversation. Maybe he starts with waiting for 5 minutes, then 10 minutes and increasing after each time.

6)      If it does not feel like things are changing for the better then seek help from a counselor who is familiar with stepfamilies.  

Remember that their relationship existed before you were in the picture and ultimately it is up to them to change it if they do not feel it is working. All you can do is offer help. Then step back and let go.

Book Review- The Courage to be a Stepmom: Finding Your Place Without Losing Yourself

Sue Patton Thoele takes you on the journey of stepmothering in her book The Courage to be a Stepmom: Finding Your Place without Losing Yourself through her interviews of stepmothers who are experiencing the same questions, concerns, and frustrations as you. Not only does she provide examples of women who are experiencing a similar rollercoaster ride but she also provides enlightening words of wisdom. Read More…

To purchase the book click here:   The Courage to be a Stepmom

Or follow this link to join The Courage to be a Stepmom Support Group

“You’re not my ___ (mother/father)”

The first time I heard this phrase my heart clenched.  Then, I caught my eleven year old stepson’s eyes and saw the expression on his face. He had the look of “oh oh, what is she going to do?” … Read More  

 

Welcome to S.O.S.!

Strengthening Our Stepfamilies (S.O.S.) is committed to providing counseling, parent coaching and classes that address the unique needs of stepfamilies.  Christine Stansbury, a psychotherapist and stepmother, utilizes her expertise with families, couples, and children to guide you and your family through the uncharted waters of belonging to a stepfamily.

 

S.O.S. currently offers two classes, Active Parenting for Stepfamilies and SmartSteps for Adults and Children in Stepfamilies, and an online and in-person support group that is based on the book The Courage to be a Stepmom by Sue Patton Thoele.

 

You will find in this blog advice, book reviews, articles, discussions, and resources regarding stepfamily living.  There will be some information that is password protected so please sign up now by completing the Membership Form. 

 

Sincerely,

 

Christine Stansbury

www.strengtheningourstepfamilies.com